


Loch Ness Monster Mask

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [28]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7415911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: WHATS THE REPTILE VERSION OF A FURRY</p><p>johnn: NO</p><p>laf: SCALIE</p><p>johnn: NOONONOOONONONONONONOONON</p><p>johnn: N O</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loch Ness Monster Mask

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to the tumblr anon again!! I used the another part of one of them in this
> 
> psa my tumblr is still lol-phan-af

**johnn** : okay so when I said that you weren't allowed to have sex on the pull out couch  
  
**johnn** : that wasn't your invite to fuck on the couch adjacent to it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : why aren't you talking out loud  
  
**johnn** : my voice will crack and I'll embarrass myself  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I don't think they'd mind  
  
**johnn** : oh no they would love it  
  
**johnn** : but I wouldn't  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oH OKAY I AM HERE NOW  
  
**more like HUNKules** : HOLY SHIT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I WAS NOT INFORMED ABOUT THE STOCKINGS  
  
**little lion** : did you really think I would own a garter belt without stockings  
  
**johnn** : I'm gonna pass out  
  
**more like HUNKules** : same  
  
**little lion** : get over here first  
  
**johnn** : is my nose bleeding  
  
**more like HUNKules** : not yet  
  
**johnn** : okay good then I have time  
  
**more like HUNKu** les: before what  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : who's all coming to the wedding  
  
**johnn** : why do you ask these things after we have sex  
  
**little lion** : just curious  
  
**johnn** : get your hand north of the equator and we can chat  
  
**little lion** : whO IS COMING TO THE WEDDING  
  
**more like HUNKules** : my mom, my dad, hugh  
  
**laf** : that's gonna be awkward  
  
**more like HUNKules** : DONT TALK ABOUT IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : HE ASKED ME HOW YOU WERE ALL DOING YESTERDAY LIKE AS YOU SAID LAF WAS LOOKING FOR THE GARTER BELT AND I WAS JUST TOO BITTER TO RESPOND I JUST SAID "good" LIKE HOW FUCKING SALTY  
  
**johnn** : OH MY G O D HERCULES  
  
**little lion** : THATS LIKE 80 TIMES WORSE THAN IF YOU ACTUALLY SAID WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN OUR LIVES  
  
**laf** : LITERALLY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THAT WASNT THE POINT OF THE PIECE  
  
**johnn** : sarah, hugh sr., hugh jr., george, martha, angelica, peggy, eliza, maria, and john church  
  
**laf** : we should invite the slime crew  
  
**little lion** : WHY  
  
**laf** : idk I feel like it's right  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I understand why you hate tjeffs boy is a MESS but like madison is actually nice???  
  
**little lion** : yeah true but if we invite him we have to invite tjeffs  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm sure he'd like,,,,,behave himself  
  
**johnn** : oh if jmads was there I bet he would  
  
**johnn** : he has his ass on LOCK  
  
**little lion** : TRUE  
  
**laf** : OKAY SO THEY'RE COMING  
  
**laf** : BURR AND THEODOSIA  
  
**little lion** : YES BUT I AM ONLY REQUIRED TO TALK TO MISS BARTOW  
  
**johnn** : ITS OUR  W E D D I N G  
  
**laf** : ITS FUCKIGN 14 PEOPLE IN ATTENDANCE LIKE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO HIM  
  
**little lion** : I DONT WANNA THO LIKE IM GENUINELY AFRAID  
  
**laf** : OF WHAT  
  
**little lion** : WHAT HES GONNA S A Y  
  
**little lion** : HAVE YOU EVER SEEN BURR GET EMOTIONAL ITS DISGUSTING  
  
**laf** : oh god  
  
**johnn** : when do we mail the invitation out  
  
**laf** : we have to change them bc we basically procrastinated this and now we have to push the date back  
  
**johnn** : fuck  
  
**little lion** : okay speaking of fuck  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : is that a yes?  
  
**laf** : fudkicng kddbndkgs  
  
**laf** : oKAY  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : !!!it's that time of year again!!!  
  
**johnn** : why are you excited about cleaning the lube drawer it's literally the worst thing ever  
  
**little lion** : it's not that bad  
  
**johnn** : last year we found a whole bottle spilled on everything in there  
  
**little lion** : you just don't want to say what we found it under  
  
**johnn** : nO I DO NOT  
  
**laf** : OKAY WHO PUT THE FUCKIGN LOCH NESS MONSTER MASK IN THE BOTTOM OF THE LUBE DRAWER AND WRAPPED IT IN PLASTIC  
  
**more like HUNKules** : W H A T  
  
**laf** : IM NOT KIDDING  
  
**little lion** : HOLY SHIT  
  
**johnn** : oh that's mine  
  
**laf** : WHEN AND WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN HERE  
  
**johnn** : LIKE TWO MONTHS AFTER YOU CLEANED IT OUT LAST YEAR WHILE YOU WERE BOILING THINGS AND BC I THOUGHT ITD BE FUNNY  
  
**little lion** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THOUGHT ITD BE FUNNY  
  
**little lion** : LIKE DID YOU ACTUALLY PLAN TO WEAR THAT WHILE WE HAD SEX  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**little lion** : WHATS THE REPTILE VERSION OF A FURRY  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**laf** : SCALIE  
  
**johnn** : NOONONOOONONONONONONOONON  
  
**johnn** : N O  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : thank you for being a friend  
  
**laf** : !!!  
  
**laf** : traVELLED DOWN THE ROAD AND BACK AGAIN  
  
**johnn** : YOUR HEART IS TRUE YOURE A PAL AND A CONFIDANT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY  
  
**little lion** : IiiIiINVITED EVERYONE YOU KNeEeEEWWWW  
  
**laf** : YOU WOULD SEE  
  
**johnn** : THE BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : AND THE CARD ATTACHED WOULD SAY  
  
**little lion** : THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEeEeEEeEeEEEEEEEeEeEND  
  
**laf** : I love us sm  
  
**little lion** : same  
  
**johnn** : same  
  
**more like HUNKules** : same  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : wait marquis is a title  
  
**laf** : yes,,,,  
  
**more like HUNKules** : LIKE A FAIRLY HIGH TITLE  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WHAT THE FUCK  
  
**laf** : DID YOU NOT KNOW  
  
**more like HUNKules** : NO  
  
**laf** : I??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : YOU'RE LITERALLY ROYALTY  
  
**laf** : NOT REALLY AND IM P SURE IF I WENT BACK TO FRANCE I WOULDNT BE ONE ANYMORE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : HOW AR EYOU??  
  
**laf** : idk it happened when my dad died  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh  
  
**more like HUNKules** : sorry  
  
**laf** : it's alright  
  
**johnn** : WE GOT THEM  
  
**little lion** : SNATCHED  
  
**little lion** : INTO OUR ARMS  
  
**laf** : suffocating  
  
**johnn** : WE  H A V E  YOU  
  
**more like HUNKules** : are you o kay  
  
**laf** : i'm fine  
  
**more like HUNKules** : did yOU TWO KNOW  
  
**johnn** : ye  
  
**little lion** : of course  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what the fuck  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : we should go to a beach somewhere sometime  
  
**little lion** : nope  
  
**little lion** : backing out rn  
  
**laf** : you don't have to go in the ocean  
  
**little lion** : fine but I don't want to be left alone plz  
  
**laf** : we don't have to go if you don't want to go  
  
**little lion** : I want to go!! I just don't want to die!!  
  
**laf** : we won't let that happen  
  
**johnn** : ever  
  
**more like HUNKules** : e v e r  
  
**little lion** : ily  
  
**laf** : ILY2  
  
**johnn** : ILY3  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yeah I'm not doing that but I love you too  
  
**little lion** : AH  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : we should make a list of all the stuff we need to do  
  
**laf** : like around the house or adVENTURING  
  
**johnn** : well both but let's go with the second one for now  
  
**laf** : get married, new house, kids, beach, maybe we could go to france one day idk, DISNEY WE HAVE TO FUCKING GO TO DISNEY I SWEAR TO GOD, idk the sun when we fling ourselves at it  
  
**johnn** : I like that last one let's do that one  
  
**little lion** : WE HAVE TO GO TO DISNEYWORLD  
  
**little lion** : I NEED TO GO TO THE UK PART OF EPCOT I NEED TO BE THERE  
  
**laf** : is it too cliche to say I want to go to the french part  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**laf** : ILL LIVE WITH IT  
  
**johnn** : WE COULD ALL GET MATCHING MICKEY EARS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we have so much to see now  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we have so much to do  
  
**laf** : !!and we're gonna do it all together!!  
  
**little lion** : !!yAY!!  
  
**johnn** : woOOO  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : that was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ???  
  
**johnn** : I just watched tjeffs do a back walk over to get out of an argument with alex  
  
**little lion** : it didn't even work he ended up doing a split and he was like five feet away from me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : hO W  
  
**laf** : I JUST LEFT TO GET COFFEE HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THAT  
  
**johnn** : it was v quick  
  
**johnn** : alex just  
  
**johnn** : "wow that was a fast escape jefferson how often do you have to spread your legs quickly to get out of a different situation"  
  
**johnn** : JMADS JUST SEHKARNV;LKFSDHLRSGH'LRAKSG  
  
**johnn** : "USUALLY WHEN HE DOES THAT WITH HIS LEGS HE'S NOT GETTING OUT OF A SITUATION HE'S GETTING ON ONE"  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH MY G OD  
  
**little lion** : IM CRYING SO HARD  
  
**johnn** : JEFFERSON JUST STARTED SCREAMING  
  
**little lion** : MADISON IS DRAGGING HIM AWAY  
  
**johnn** : HES STILL ON THE FLOOR  
  
**laf** : IM STILL GETTING COFFEE  
  
**laf** : FUCK I JUST SAW THEM  
  
**laf** : I WANT TO RESIGN  
  
**johnn** : SAME  
  
**little lion** : SAME  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : tfw you were making a dress and you were like wow this dress is really easy it's almost like I made it before and you look up and the same fucking dress is right in front of you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : why does this one look better it's only half done  
  
**laf** : can I have the first one  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you don't even know what it looks like  
  
**laf** : would I look like at least 8/10 in it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you're constantly pushin like 23/10 so like no  
  
**laf** : simplify your fucking fractions and bring me some reSULTS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : like a 30  
  
**laf** : out of??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it was 300/10 so it just goes to 30  
  
**laf** : okay so like can I have the dress  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ye  
  
**laf** : !!yaY!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : ??why is john crying in our bed??  
  
**laf** : he's listening to pretty. odd. again and when I told him that he should maybe nOT do that?? he said that it's fine and then as I walked away he screamed "RyAN" and so I closed the door  
  
**little lion** : what the fuck  
  
**laf** : I'VE GIVEN UP ON ASKING  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : no offense  
  
**laf** : oh god  
  
**johnn** : but pretty. odd. is one of the most important pieces of musical content of our time?? like it's so beautiful and so obviously written while very Very high as fuck like?? that's so beautiful?? and doNT EVEN GET ME FUCKIGN STARTED ON RYDEN DONT GET ME STARTED DO NOT bC IT WAS REAL FUCK ILL FIGHT FOR IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay so I'm home now,,,,  
  
**laf** : do you have my dress  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ye  
  
**laf** : !!yay!!  
  
**little lion** : I'm currently cuddling john and he's trying to put earbuds in my ears so I can, and I quote, "listen to the Gay Weed Album" with him and I love him so much but like  
  
**little lion** : I can't cry more over pretty. odd. than I already have  
  
**laf** : oh god  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : aLL WAS GOLDEN IN THE SKY  
  
**johnn** : ALL WAS GOLDEN WHEN THE DAY MET THE NIGHT  
  
**laf** : (sUMMER)  
  
**more like HUNKules** : (sUMMER)  
  
**little lion** : (sUMMER)  
  
**johnn** : (SUMMER)  
  
**johnn** : we should start an acapella band  
  
**laf** : no  
  
**little lion** : no  
  
**more like HUNKules** : never  
  
**johnn** : RUDE

**Author's Note:**

> I never want to stop writing these like they're so fun I just??
> 
> aLSO LOOK AT THAT WORD COUNT


End file.
